Practicing mindfulness

can help create change in your life.

If you are not aware of the why of your behaviors and keep doing the same thing you will most likely remain in the same place.  For those who are content with where they are in life that can be ok for the moment.  But things change both internally and externally in our lives and we often have little or no warning when these things occur.  What is required in these moments is the ability to adapt and change.  

What is adaptation and what are the skills required to navigate life changes? Adaptation is an evolutionary term and is defined as:  a heritable physical or behavioral trait that serves a specific function and improves an organism's fitness or survival.  We needed to adapt in order to survive as a species.  Those that could adapt survived and those that didn't passed away.  

So what are the skills inherent in adaptation?  Well for one, we need to be aware that a situation requires change. Awareness is a vital part of adaptation. Awareness is defined as : knowledge and understanding that something is happening or exists.  This is where a mindfulness practice can be of benefit.  The practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis provides us with that awareness.

So how does being aware of the present moment have anything to do with adaptation and change?  Remember when I said that one of the most important parts of change or adaptation is the awareness that something is happening within us or externally that needs to be addressed.  If we aren't aware that there is a need for change then it's most likely we will not take an active role in shaping that change.  Change may or may not occur but it may happen outside of our awareness and we may end up responding in a reactionary way rather than a thoughtful or meaningful way.

 The world we live in today is a lot different than the one we lived in just 20 years ago.  A lot has changed and there are more demands for our attention.  We live in a technological society where we are bombarded with information 24/7.  Whether it's from social media, our phones, texts and or emails our minds are constantly being inundated with information and demand for our attention.  And then there is our normal work, schooling and family lives that also require our focus.  Most of us in our daily lives are maybe 70% "in our heads".  

When we are processing all this information and taking care of all the demands on our time we can lose touch with what is truly important to us and react in ways that may not benefit ourselves and our relationships.  Being mindful helps us to make better, more informed decisions and move in the direction of what we truly value and want in our lives.

So along with developing awareness, what other benefits come from being in the moment?  Well for one we can't change what happened yesterday and we certainly don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.  The only place from which we can take action is the present moment. Imagine this relatable scenario:  You've had a hard day at work or at home taking care of children and your partner who also may have had a difficult day appears at home and seems to be in a bad mood.  They are still processing their day (the past) and barely acknowledge you as they walk in the door.  Now if you are even remotely aware of the present moment you might notice this and respond with a simple question "what's wrong".  They might reply, "just one of those days” and sulks off instead of sharing more.  At this point you're both feeling overwhelmed with your day and now there's additional tension and distance between the two of you at a time when you both could use a hug or at least some time to offer support to one another.  It's not that we don't think about and process our days, it's that sometimes we carry these thoughts and feelings with us into the present moment and it negatively impacts our relationships.

Being present focused puts us more in touch with our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations.  It affords us the ability to observe without judgement and with this clarity to respond to life's challenges more in line with our values.  In that previous scenario, how much different that interaction between the couple might have been if they both valued their relationship and were present focused.  

Ok so this mindfulness thing, how do we do it?  Mindfulness is a practice, something we need to work at to cultivate.  You can practice mindfulness through meditation.  No you don't need to cross your legs, chant or burn incense.  Mindful meditation is a "simple" as finding a place where you will be undisturbed and sitting in a comfortable position with eyes closed or focusing on a spot in your field of vision and taking slow deep breaths.  As we talked about earlier, our minds are very active and will be feeding you all sorts of thoughts like, "this is silly, why am I sitting here or I should be starting dinner or taking the dog for a walk", whatever thoughts come to you, gently acknowledge them and go back to focusing on your breathing.  Each time your mind pulls you away you let it be and return to the breath.  After some time you will find you are in a very relaxed (the purpose of mindfulness is not relaxation but is often a byproduct of this practice) space and more in touch with the moment.  

Mindfulness can also be something you practice in your daily activities whether showering in the morning and focusing on the water as it washes over your shoulders or the smell of the shampoo as you massage it into your scalp.  There are many opportunities in your day when you can appreciate / get in touch with the present moment like enjoying the warmth of the sun or the sounds of the birds or the smell of a flower.   When we get caught up and struggle with our thoughts and emotions it takes us out of the here and now and colors how we respond to things we attempt to do and those we choose to interact with.  We become reactionary instead of thoughtful and aware of the best way of responding.  Whereas being mindful and present focused aligns us more with what's important to us and closer with those we care about.

Thanks for listening and please share your thoughts and comment...